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  • Buy your coparent a copy!
    • This book is outstanding! It contains not only extremely valuable information every parent facing divorce needs to know, but it also is full of practical tools for minimizing the impact of divorce on children. I highly recommend it.
    • Judge Stephen A. Groome, District Judge, 11th Judicial District, State of Colorado
    • This book is a must-read for parents contemplating divorce, those already in the divorce process and those who have a parenting plan in place. It gives parents important insight into the issues and real needs of children. Shannon has very important knowledge and wisdom to share with parents. I will recommend this book to all my clients who are dealing with parenting plan issues.
    • Albert V. Evans, Family Law Attorney since 1970
    • This book is a key practical tool for parents when life is in crisis. It will help to ensure that our unresolved issues start healing and do not dim the possibility of a joyful and creative life for our children. I truly thank you for gifting this book to the world.
    • Candice Bataille Popiel, coparent of a 7 and 8 year-old and co-author of Discovery of Glow
    • Shannon Rios' personal experience, research, and professional expertise offer compassion and respect to divorced and separated parents. If parents read The Fatal 7 Mistakes and apply all the practical tips this book offers, they will get along better with their parenting partners, heal from their divorce faster and help their children come through the divorce with their self-esteem intact. This book will help ensure families achieve emotional health despite these life-changing events.
    • Jody Johnston Pawel, author of the award-winning book The Parent's Toolshop: The Universal Blueprint for Building a Healthy Family
    • Shannon comes from personal experience and from the heart in her deep desire to help children of divorcing parents. Parents - read this book! You CAN move through the divorce process without injuring your children!
    • Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author/coauthor of "Healing Your Aloneness", Inner Bonding, "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?.
    • As a mother of a 7 yr. old, going through a divorce, my main concern is the well-being of my child. This book was a godsend! It has helped me be the best mom for my son, while going through this difficult process."
    • Katy, mother of a 7 yr old.
    • This wonderful book should be required reading and writing for every divorced or never married parent. It also should be on the bookshelf of every mediator, counselor or attorney helping separated parents raise happier kids.
    • Dr. Shirley Thomas, Two Happy Homes: A Working Guide for Parents & Stepparents After Divorce and Remarriage and Parents are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents After Divorce
    • Don't let the word Fatal in the title scare you, when you look inside, you will find Shannon Rios's book to be one of the best parenting after divorce books ever written. She has understanding, compassion, and an uncanny understanding of what children – and parents – need. I have seen many divorce books during the past 25 years, and while they are all helpful in varying degrees, if every parent could read Shannon's book, most of the problem suffered by children as an outcome of their parents' divorce would be substantially eased. This book should be required reading in all divorce classes."
    • David L. Levy, Esq., President, Board of Trustees, Children's Rights Council
    • For the divorced or separated parent who wants to raise emotionally safe and secure children: this book could be exactly what you are looking for. This book was easy to read, yet practically applicable, capable of bringing out the subtle actions and words that parents, hurting from their own divorce experience, may not realize are inadvertently hurting their children.
    • David Meggitt, Manager, Colorado Children's Program Betty Ford Institute
    • Parents of separation, divorce and conflict will find this book an invaluable and treasured guide—it's filled with heart-felt, sage, and practical advice. Shannon Rios shows parents how to ask themselves and their children questions that optimize healing and growth, even during times of conflict and difficulty. Children whose parents read this book will be lucky indeed!"--
    • Marilee Adams, Ph.D. Author, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
    • Every so often someone comes along with the rare ability to see things differently and in doing so, changes our lives forever. Suddenly, issues that seemed so difficult to understand and actions that seemed too painful to take, begin to open up to an entirely new understanding that shifts our consciousness and heals our soul! It is this clarity of vision that Shannon Rios brings to her latest work. You owe it to yourself to read this powerful new book but more importantly, you owe it to your children.
    • Jeffrey Alan Hall, Author Speaker Teacher, www.jeffreyalenhall.com, A Course in Miracles
    • Divorced and divorcing parents and their children, regardless of age, will see themselves in this book. They will also recognize the author knows how easy it is to be ensnared in the traps she describes and how difficult it is to avoid them. She provides many prompts for improving self-awareness and exercises to aid management of tendencies harmful to children. Those able to follow at least some of her suggestions should be richly rewarded by improvement in the health and happiness of their children as well themselves.
    • Bonnie W. Camp, MD, PhD, Professor Emeritus, Pediatrics and Psychiatry University of Colorado School of Medicine

Being Present

March 6th, 2010

Being present for our children is one of the best gifts we can give them.  Children know when we are not focusing on them.  It is also important to be present with ourselves.  Conscious breathing, or longer exhale than inhale can help our body calm down.  It has been said we can change our lives in we just breathe concsiously a few times a day.   The most acclaimed parenting programs focus on parents taking care of themselves so they keep calm which, in turn, keeps children calmer. It is a true phenomenon called “mirror neurons”.  We mirror each other and so if we want those around us to be calmer and more peaceful, we must cultivate that peace within.  What can you do today to cultivate your peace inside?  On that note, it is time for me to get out and take a nice walk in this wonderful weather in Northern MI.  I am once again visiting my wonderful nephew and sister and brother-in-law in MI.  Enjoy this day and be in gratitude for all you have, that is going to be the focus of my walk.

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Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments

               


Loving Ourselves

December 8th, 2009

Sometimes I believe parents and caregivers of children don’t take enough time to take care of themselves and put themselves first sometimes.  We sometimes hold ourselves to high standards and beat ourselves up for normal things or things that we did not have a lot of control over. 

I worked with a client today on commitment and compassion.  These are really important  things to remember this time of year.  Take time to be compassionate with yourself, you are only human.  Take time to have commitment to you.  Take time to do what YOU want.  Caregivers must take care of themselves or they become depleted. 

What do you need today to take care of you?  What one thing can you commit to this holiday season to do to take care of you?  What gift will you give yourself this year?  Hopefully your gift will include the gift of love to yourself.  You deserve it.

Tags: , ,

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

               


Thank You Liam

November 28th, 2009

Of course, I think kids are amazing.  That is why I do the work I do.  This week I was blessed to spend 6 days with my 4.5 month old nephew in Northern MI.  I just want to take this moment to thank and honor all of our children for the teachers they are in our lives.  Liam teaches me about patience and unconditional love.  I took care of his mother so many years ago as I was a teeenager during her growing years (my sister).  I know it is also due to my sisters that I do my work in this world, but it is such a gift to me to enjoy my nephew/godson.  I just want to take this time and have you take the next few minutes to sit/breathe/meditate on the gifts that all the children in your life have given you.  I will always contend that they are our greatest teachers.  I want to thank and honor all the children in the world.  We must also remember that at one time, we all were those little children teaching the adults in our lives.  

Aunt Shannon;)

Tags: , , , ,

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments

               


The Art of Observing and the Present Moment

November 27th, 2009

Yesterday I posted about compassion.  Having compassion for ourselves.  So, you may be asking, “how exactly do we do that?”".  I want to make this very simple.  I want everyone to have access to all you deserve in your life.  I truly believe that involves compassion for yourself.  To do this, we must observe ourselves.

If you take time to pretend you are outside of yourself watching and observing yourself, this is the  key.  You can then see all the great things about you and you can have compassion for yourself.  It also allows you to remove yourself from the emotion you are having and just observe your situation. 

I have heard very positive success stories about just observing rather than getting “caught up” in circumstance.  Circumstances are only temporary.  It is also true that you only have the present moment and if you can just be there life is ok in that moment. 

This can also work in our daily lives with our children.  Just observe your behavior with your children and see if it is healthy.  Remember to enjoy that present moment with your child and life will have a new perspective. 

Each time life feels overwhelming or you are not being compassionate with yourself, move to observance of you, all you have accomplished and all that you are.  This will shift your life over time. 

To you and your life,

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Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

               


Thanksreceiving

November 26th, 2009

So today on this day of Thanks in the United States, I have been pondering…… I received wonderful emails, I took my time to give thanks and I am in a space of contemplation. 

When we go through difficult times in life, like divorce, the end of relationship, or other difficult events, it can be hard to feel thankful and feel real about that thankfulness.  We know it is something we are supposed to do but truly deep down are we thankful or are we covering up other feelings (sadness, anger,etc.) by saying we are thankful?  I am a person who deeply values honesty and I believe it is crucial to be honest with ourselves.  It is imporatnt to be real. 

For me today what is the truth for me is that my true thanks came from receiving.  When we go through a challenging time, we need to receive.  We need to receive love and support from others.  Truly, we must also receive this love and support from ourselves.  In speaking with my wonderful friend Susan today, I received from her and this allowed me to feel  truly grateful.  Sometimes, in challenging times we truly do not have much to give so I believe we must focus on receiving for a while until we can once again give.  I give a lot to others but sometimes I have been made aware that I do not always receive so well.   I know this is something I want to focus on more in the future. 

It is so important to focus on receiving, being patient with ourselives, forgiving ourselves, and allowing ourselves to have  emotions.   During challenging times we must receive compassion from ourselves.  We must allow ourselves to be human with all our issues, faults, unperfect behaviors and mistakes that we make.  We are perfect as we are. 

This  Thanksgiving I ask you to sit in contemplation and be compassionate with you, the most perfect person with all your human faults and issues.  You are perfect just as you are.  Once you truly receive  this, you are on the road to compassion, first for you and then for others.   With compassion, all things are possible.    May you receive all things possible for you in this lifetime.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

               


Shannon’s Blog

November 21st, 2009

In this blog, Shannon provides tips to the community regarding taking care of YOU during this time. This is truly one of the most important things you can do during this time. Shannon believes that being kind and gentle to yourself are keys to your healing. Forgiveness is also very important. Follow Shannon as she discusses all of these very important life coaching and parent coaching topics.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

               

  • Be The Change

  • Let all of us, in our own unique way, recommit ourselves to the search for the pebbles of change that can be cast into the social pond. Let us create a divorce process that recycles divorce pain into new patterns of personal and familial growth which, in turn, will also strengthen our entire society. Let us protect our children from the unnecessary hazards of the divorce experience so that they, like their parents, can be strengthened by divorce rather than defeated by it. And let us never forget that if the lights go out in our children’s eyes, be they children of divorce or any other children, we will all live in darkness.
  • —Meyer Elkin, Editor AFCC
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Being Present

March 6th, 2010

Being present for our children is one of the best gifts we can give them.  Children know when we are not focusing on them.  It is also important to be present with ourselves.  Conscious breathing, or longer exhale than inhale can help our body calm down.  It has been said we can change our lives in we just breathe concsiously a few times a day.   The most acclaimed parenting programs focus on parents taking care of themselves so they keep calm which, in turn, keeps children calmer. It is a true phenomenon called “mirror neurons”.  We mirror each other and so if we want those around us to be calmer and more peaceful, we must cultivate that peace within.  What can you do today to cultivate your peace inside?  On that note, it is time for me to get out and take a nice walk in this wonderful weather in Northern MI.  I am once again visiting my wonderful nephew and sister and brother-in-law in MI.  Enjoy this day and be in gratitude for all you have, that is going to be the focus of my walk.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Loving Ourselves

December 8th, 2009

Sometimes I believe parents and caregivers of children don’t take enough time to take care of themselves and put themselves first sometimes.  We sometimes hold ourselves to high standards and beat ourselves up for normal things or things that we did not have a lot of control over. 

I worked with a client today on commitment and compassion.  These are really important  things to remember this time of year.  Take time to be compassionate with yourself, you are only human.  Take time to have commitment to you.  Take time to do what YOU want.  Caregivers must take care of themselves or they become depleted. 

What do you need today to take care of you?  What one thing can you commit to this holiday season to do to take care of you?  What gift will you give yourself this year?  Hopefully your gift will include the gift of love to yourself.  You deserve it.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Thank You Liam

November 28th, 2009

Of course, I think kids are amazing.  That is why I do the work I do.  This week I was blessed to spend 6 days with my 4.5 month old nephew in Northern MI.  I just want to take this moment to thank and honor all of our children for the teachers they are in our lives.  Liam teaches me about patience and unconditional love.  I took care of his mother so many years ago as I was a teeenager during her growing years (my sister).  I know it is also due to my sisters that I do my work in this world, but it is such a gift to me to enjoy my nephew/godson.  I just want to take this time and have you take the next few minutes to sit/breathe/meditate on the gifts that all the children in your life have given you.  I will always contend that they are our greatest teachers.  I want to thank and honor all the children in the world.  We must also remember that at one time, we all were those little children teaching the adults in our lives.  

Aunt Shannon;)

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

The Art of Observing and the Present Moment

November 27th, 2009

Yesterday I posted about compassion.  Having compassion for ourselves.  So, you may be asking, “how exactly do we do that?”".  I want to make this very simple.  I want everyone to have access to all you deserve in your life.  I truly believe that involves compassion for yourself.  To do this, we must observe ourselves.

If you take time to pretend you are outside of yourself watching and observing yourself, this is the  key.  You can then see all the great things about you and you can have compassion for yourself.  It also allows you to remove yourself from the emotion you are having and just observe your situation. 

I have heard very positive success stories about just observing rather than getting “caught up” in circumstance.  Circumstances are only temporary.  It is also true that you only have the present moment and if you can just be there life is ok in that moment. 

This can also work in our daily lives with our children.  Just observe your behavior with your children and see if it is healthy.  Remember to enjoy that present moment with your child and life will have a new perspective. 

Each time life feels overwhelming or you are not being compassionate with yourself, move to observance of you, all you have accomplished and all that you are.  This will shift your life over time. 

To you and your life,

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Thanksreceiving

November 26th, 2009

So today on this day of Thanks in the United States, I have been pondering…… I received wonderful emails, I took my time to give thanks and I am in a space of contemplation. 

When we go through difficult times in life, like divorce, the end of relationship, or other difficult events, it can be hard to feel thankful and feel real about that thankfulness.  We know it is something we are supposed to do but truly deep down are we thankful or are we covering up other feelings (sadness, anger,etc.) by saying we are thankful?  I am a person who deeply values honesty and I believe it is crucial to be honest with ourselves.  It is imporatnt to be real. 

For me today what is the truth for me is that my true thanks came from receiving.  When we go through a challenging time, we need to receive.  We need to receive love and support from others.  Truly, we must also receive this love and support from ourselves.  In speaking with my wonderful friend Susan today, I received from her and this allowed me to feel  truly grateful.  Sometimes, in challenging times we truly do not have much to give so I believe we must focus on receiving for a while until we can once again give.  I give a lot to others but sometimes I have been made aware that I do not always receive so well.   I know this is something I want to focus on more in the future. 

It is so important to focus on receiving, being patient with ourselives, forgiving ourselves, and allowing ourselves to have  emotions.   During challenging times we must receive compassion from ourselves.  We must allow ourselves to be human with all our issues, faults, unperfect behaviors and mistakes that we make.  We are perfect as we are. 

This  Thanksgiving I ask you to sit in contemplation and be compassionate with you, the most perfect person with all your human faults and issues.  You are perfect just as you are.  Once you truly receive  this, you are on the road to compassion, first for you and then for others.   With compassion, all things are possible.    May you receive all things possible for you in this lifetime.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

Shannon’s Blog

November 21st, 2009

In this blog, Shannon provides tips to the community regarding taking care of YOU during this time. This is truly one of the most important things you can do during this time. Shannon believes that being kind and gentle to yourself are keys to your healing. Forgiveness is also very important. Follow Shannon as she discusses all of these very important life coaching and parent coaching topics.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »